Today I gave another presentation with my advisor together with his visiting scientist on a recent paper which I studies named "the group representation related to the Stockwell transform". After one year of registering into the program I am now working on my (advisor) topic of interest. This kind of transform is a new study in time-frequency analysis which are greatly important in areas like geophysics, biomedicine or engineering. I have started this work like three weeks now eventhough I haven't completed my maths comprehensive part.
Remember on previous post, I've been preparing for the Ph.D qualifying exams. Well, I just managed to perform in the physics parts, which it is natural for me to do so since I was graduated from physics background. But I sense that I somehow could not tolerate with this kind of situation (fail for the maths part, since I like maths a lot). Ouuh...may my likeness isn't enough. But the truth is I spend like 3 whole months preparing for the maths part ONLY. And it didn't work out.
I went to see the person who giving the grades for the exam and she showed me how I'm doing. She mentioned that I have no problem to use all the mathematical tools yet I having problem in terms of proving and analyzing mathematical statement. But she said that, it is OK since any physicist will not interested to know how functions behave accurately. Only mathematician do. But since I do mathematical physics, it is also natural for me to know both parts. I remember when my former supervisor told me quite a few times (for a theoretical physicist), about how he committed to physics more than maths. Maths is just a tool to solve physics problem. If you get stucked with the maths perhaps go back to the significant of the physical explaination on how one should tackle such problems. If oneself get 'carried away' with the maths part perhaps he or she should be working on the maths problem.
However, during the year I've learned that maths is just not for solving, it is philosophically a logic thinking. And I admit that I was so weak in that sense. Need to stay in the field long enough to get the feeling. Later on my advisor told me that it was just the past, and lets work on for the future. Some of the stuffs I've learned may not even used later on. For example physicist don't need to know measure theory (which happened to be the subject for the comprehensive). This told me that I still had a chance. If I get lucky I can still be continuing to this program. Or else I am preparing myself home for my country. My advisor is positive due to my continuing but I don't know how the university system works. Lets just hope for a positive outcomes.
I take it as it is and now started to spend time on research and Ph.D works. I don't get discouraged for what has happened and still carry one with what is in front of me now. Take every opportunities that I can get until it is been told to my face that 'it is the end of the world'.
p\s-Apart from the stuffs I've been studying for the maths comprehensive, I found that it really helps a lot while reading any mathematical physics journal. Especially in terms of notations and terminology.